mrsllcoolj's Xanga

Friday, December 09, 2005

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:40:24 GMT

"You just annoy me way too much. I don't want to talk to you anymore!"

When you try to tolerate people, you just end up hurting yourself and the other person (I.E. quote at the top). I tried so hard to get along with someone because I thought we could be great friends on day. It like all happened all so fast, and that person started tossing the word "best friend" around. I tried so hard to just smile and ignore anything that bothered me. Well, I failed and finally blew up at that person today. I know that I could have handle it a whole lot better, but that's in the past now. I said what I meant, and I meant what I said. Sure, I could have said it in a more sympathetic manner and been a little less harsh, but that's what happens when you're raised with a family who is always fighting/arguing. I've taken anger management twice, but it obviously is not working for me. Am I going to apologize to that person? In all honesty, I'm not sure if I want to...

I am super stressed out, and I don't know what to do with myself. I've become this study/work monster all of a sudden, and I'm sure it's scaring some people. Everyone thinks I'm this happy, chilled out person who doesn't give a damn about what happens with my future. Well, I do actually. I'm going to college. I want to have a successful career. I make good grades in school now although I don't seem like the type of person who would. It's the truth though. I have the report cards to prove it. Anyways, there's a shitload of projects due this week and then next week is finals. I'll be so glad when it's all over, and I can just sit back and chill for Christmas break.

Good luck with your finals everyone!

My Week

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 14:43:23 GMT

These are entries from my MySpace blog that I posted over the week. Lol sorry guys I'm getting addicted again, but I'm going to copy my entries over whenever I have the time. Who reads this shiz anyways???

Wednesday, November 23

I got to spend the whole weekend and then some hanging out with quite a few of my friends. Here's a recap: Friday night I went to the movies with Jenna and Matt to see Derailed. I went shopping on Saturday, and I got a bunch of shoes and some clothes. Later that night I went to the movies with Janet to see Prime. That movie was funny. On Sunday I went to church with my family then we all went to the mall so Jenna could pick me up. I went to Sephora and bought some makeup while I was waiting. After that, Jenna came, and we left the mall and went to her house. Megan showed up. We chilled for a litltle bit, got ready, and went to the Midnight Rodeo. Ashley, Nicole, and their friend Mark all met us there. Then later on we ran into Clint, Meagan, and Meagan's friend Courtney. It was all pretty fun. Jenna and I hung out on Monday. We ran an errand and then went to the mall. There were like no people our age there so we came home and watched "Save the Last Dance". It was like a flash back into the 90s. Love that movie! lol Yesterday, we kinda just dragged around her house doing nothing. Soap operas were on tho! I ended up taking a nap. Then we went to the soccer game, but I had to leave early so that I'd be home in time for my cousin, DeAnna, to pick me up. I was supposed to keep Cameron busy while she got her hair braided, but I was sooo tired that I crashed on the sofa. He bit my nose twice while I was asleep, and it's still fuckin' sore!!! Anyways, I'm back at home now and still tired. So I think I'm going to go take another nap then hit up Wal-mart....

Friday, November 25

It sucked some major ass!!!! We starved like all day long and finally got to eat dinner after 6pm. We would have been able to eat a little sooner, but the police found my stupid aunt so we had to stop and figure things out. She knows how to ruin a mood even when she's not around. Gosh, that woman pisses me off!!!!!!! Well right now she's living by a dumpster with the rest of her crack buddies. Whatever! I got to talk to alot of my friends though. It was nice to hear from people that I haven't talked to in a while. Others have managed to piss me off quite a bit. I can't stand people who focus on themselves all of the goddamn time. It's selfish, self-centered, and just flat out not cool. I was having a really bad day, but I couldn't even bring it up. Sooo thanks alot!!!!! I couldn't even drink myself out of my misery. I was so upset that I couldn't even get a buzz from the vodka and beer I drank. Hopefully today I'll find something interesting to do, and then tomorrow I'll probably hang out with Matt and whoever else pops up.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 01:55:37 GMT

One good thing happened today. I got my blood test results back, and it's normal!!!! I was so afraid that something else was wrong. The rest of my day was stressful as usually. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm alot stronger than last year though. I've come a very long way, and I don't plan to let anyone get in the way.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 02:26:29 GMT

I don't see what the deal is with people being fuckin' retarded towards me. I haven't said or done anything to anyone!! I'm not one to put up with shit like that, especially right now, so now I'm just even more stressed out from fighting back. Can't wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas break to get away from it all for a little while. I need a break soon, or I'm gonna lose it. My dad is being his normal self, putting me down like always, and my mom is oblivious to life in general I guess. I just wish they would get some sense and started acting like parents much less adults. I wish people could experience all the shit I go through every day. I'm so drained from it all. If it weren't for my supportive friends, I'd probably have run away from it already. They're probably the only reason I'm still here and still not giving up on myself. So thanks to you all who care.

Another Long Weekend

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 09:16:29 GMT

I only have to go to school until 4th hr today (11am) because I'm going to Austin!!! I'm super glad to be going out of town again this weekend. I hate being at home with my dysfunctional familia so YIPEE!!!!!!!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 22:56:11 GMT

Fri: I went to the football game. Before it, I hung out with Janet and Megan. That was fun(ny)! Anyways, the game sucked really bad so Keli, Val, Ashley, Nicole, Stephanie, and I all piled up in Keli's car and went to the Marq*e. It sucked over there too because there were so many middle aged people there. They were friggin everywhere! Then we came back to school and talked to Jimmy and Jeremy for a while. By the end of the game things were not going so great with the cheerleading squad. Heh I'm not going to say anything, but you all need to work things out. I don't care if you like each other not. It's our senior yr, and we need to enjoy it. None of that other shit matters anyways! After the game, I went with Meg to her house.

Sat: Meg and I had to get up super early and haul ass over to Jenna's side of town to meet her parents. We all went to UMHB in the Temple area to watch Jenna's volleyball game. They one in 3 games! It was great, esp afterwards headed back home. They talk about black ppl! lol I was sad that Jenna couldn't come spend the night @ Meg's. Grr...

Sun: Meg and I got up and went to her church. She had to sing, but she had no voice! We decided that we would warm up to Britney Spears' songs, but that didn't work too well. After church, we went to Memorial City mall to eat and find shoes. We ended up not getting shoes because we wanted to be on time for the choir concert. Well, that didn't work of course. We got friggin lost on Long Point Rd.! I swear we spent at least a half hour driving up and down that stupid street until we finally spotted it. It was completely our faults though bc Mrs. Newton told us wrong!!! Winston saved us! After the concert, we went back to her church for Trunk or Treat and jacked alot of candy. Then we went to Wal-mart yet again bc....Meg, Jenna, and I all found out that we got accepted to Concordia University in Austin!!!! So we wanted to make a cake.We came home, watched Sweet Home Alabama, baked the cake, did some homework, and "went to sleep..." haha Right...well none of that can be discussed here.

Mon: Today was pretty crazy. I came to school high on caffeine pills bc of an accidently overdosage. I could not stop laughing my ass off, and everyone found that hilarious. At the end of 2nd hr, I went into the bathroom and threw up a little. I felt like completely shit after that. It sucked sooo bad. haha Despite the fact that I was sick, some of my day was still interesting. Chase kept texting me asking me to send him a "sexy pic" of me. Ya right, I looked like crap today, esp my hair. Then Janet was like turning black and about to bust a cap. It was awesome listening and watching her be all ghetto and shit. Japanet!

Melyssa! Listen to Toni Braxton!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 01:55:37 GMT

This has been an amazing weekend. Ok so everything isn't going so well with family and a friend, but I kinda put that all on hold and just enjoyed myself. Janet and I had an awesome time at Astroworld. We both rode some rides that we were too scared to ride before. Then we realized that it was Fright Night when we got the crap scared outta us a few times. lol Good times! Now I'm sitting here writing my newspaper article for gov't and watching the Astros. It's 4-6 We walked 2 Sox and they hit a homer off us! Grr!!

Tomorrow is the musical, Fri is a football game, and then Saturday I'm prob going to drive up to San Antonio to watch the marching band competition.

@ 10:16
It's tied! 6-6 in the 9th inning 'Stros up at bat w/ 2 outs.

@ 10:35
Damn those lucky bastards!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 08:19:21 GMT

Okay yesterday went from bad to okay to worse to fun and back to bad again. Janet woke me up at like 8 o'clock in the morning! I didn't mine though, but it was funny bc I was like, "huh? who is this?". Later on I got a text msg that just set me off. Janet and I ended up at different malls bc of some miscommunication so my dad had to come all the way back. I couldn't think straight to begin with cuz I was having a bad morning. Oh man I was sooo tensed up, but she finally got me to chill. We went and bought matching pink shirts that say, "World Series" on it. She's gonna make matching pink ribbons for our hair that say, "Astros". It's for us to wear on Astros' day Tues @ school. We're gonna look so cute! We had to leave the mall at 5:30p to go help out with the drama. I wanted to watch it not be backstage, but they needed help. So funny shit happened though! After that was over, we all went to iHop to chill. Hehe the car ride there w/ Lindsey was fun(ny)! Janet, Sara, Lindsey, Nicole, and I basically spent the entire time making fun of Matt. Gotta love drama ppl! Right...lol Today I'm going to Astroworld with Janet bc she's an awesome Asian and it's fun hanging out w/ her. Yay! Mon. night I'm going to see my old friend, Elena, perform in a musical @ Northland. Bye-bye Birdie! She's Rosie so that'll be cool.

Maybe honesty isn't always the best policy...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 14:47:26 GMT

Hm...yesterday was pretty bad. School sucked. The football game sucked for the most part. Hehe I bet they're be rumors floating around Monday. Whatever. I'm pretty sure I got caught doing something I wasn't supposed to. Whatever. The car ride home started to suck bc I was po'd at my BFF, but Britney Spears saved it! lmao Megan, thanks for that. We need a new song though.

I wrote a poem. I haven't written anything in a long time so it felt good to get my feelings down on paper.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 00:31:24 GMT

Ok I typed up a long entry and it disappeared so yeah...I might retype it later, but probably not. Today was a pretty good day though except for my dad's idea. I found out that I can makeup alot of stuff so that I'll be passing. One bad thing was that Winston got into a shitload of trouble for something that happened in the past. It wasn't even entirely his fault so they better let him come back to school. I'll be really sad if they don't. *sniffles*